The global liquidity crisis is still stress-testing the financial system and various institutions around the world continue to disclose one misdeed after another. As liquidity dries up, however, we find out who has been swimming naked, i.e. exposed to risk in a manner well beyond conventional standards. Some of these companies appear to be favored by legendary value investor Warren Buffett, which calls into question the basic assumption on Wall Street, namely that stocks eventually always go up. What if it’s different this time?

We know we are starting a recession, but we may also be at the inception of a new social, political and economic paradigm that will change the face of the world. An Age of Austerity and reduced expectations is likely in the West, but it may have some hidden benefits. We also speculate that the new economic order may be characterized by three billion individual investors seeking yield, not growth.

Detail

If you wanted to throw your lot in with the “Oracle of Omaha,” the world’s most watched investor, and decided to buy some Berkshire Hathaway shares last December you could have paid $150,000/share. Buffett has never split the stock, which was trading around $8 in 1962, and does not want to pander to short-term investors/traders. On Thursday (11/13) between 11:15 am and 2:30 pm ET shares of one of the best holding companies in the world could be had for less than $100,000/share, a 33% discount from peak. The shares had not traded at that level for two years.

Buffett has become the poster-person for responsible investing in an irresponsible age. He is also well known for not trying to time the market, but rather for taking advantage of market weakness and irrationality to scoop up shares of good companies at a discount.

Buy American?

On October 17, in the midst of one of the most harrowing months in global financial history, the Oracle made it clear in an Op Ed piece in the NY Times that he was buying the dip in the U.S. market and overweighting domestic shares in his personal portfolio due to the irrational pessimism that had depressed prices. Buffett was putting into practice his famous dictum, “Be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful.”

Previously, Buffett had no equities in that portfolio, only bonds, so the switch in asset allocation was doubly underscored. Moreover, Buffett, who once described himself as having been born “wired to allocate capital,” specifically mentioned that he preferred U.S. equities over international names.

Buffett personally, and strict value investors in general, have a well-deserved reputation for being the investors of last resort. It was the implicit endorsement by such a credible and fiscally conservative figure that led Goldman Sachs and General Electric to make well-publicized financing deals with Berkshire. Buffett purchased $5 billion of Goldman’s preferred stock yielding 10%, while paying $125/share. Buffett also bought $3 billion of General Electric’s 10% preferred shares at $22. Goldman has been cut in half since the deal was struck, while GE is off about 50%.

Meanwhile, some of Berkshires largest holdings are also in serious bear markets. The holding company has large positions in American Express (down 65%), CarMax (down 70%), Gannett (down 90%), Moodys (down 60%), and Wellpoint (down 60%). To be fair, Buffett would not consider a 1-month, 1-year or 5-year track record to be a sufficient time period over which to evaluate an investment strategy. For Warren, the current carnage is just emotionally driven noise. He understands Goldman and its franchise after running Solomon Brothers for a few years and we assume he has little doubt about GE’s wide moat and ability to compete effectively in a number of businesses going forward.

Nevertheless, Buffett’s endorsement was not sufficient to guarantee General Electric’s solvency. The company found it necessary to secure the temporary backing of the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp (FDIC) for up to $139 billion due to liabilities in its finance division. Considering that all of GE has a market cap of $168 billion, there is presumed catastrophic risk to the solvency of the company from leveraged financial dealings.

Still, few doubt Buffett’s decision making for the long-term and we respect his value-driven approach. Buying value, even if temporarily unrewarding, is a proven long-term strategy. Buffett once said that his favorite holding period for a stock is “forever,” but that retort is not an absolute mandate. He regrets not selling into the 1990’s bubble and did sell his stake in PetroChina (PTR) after it quintupled.

Swimming Naked

Buffett’s value investing approach is sometimes used to justify a perennially bullish view of the equity market, however. One would-be pundit and Buffett-buff put it thusly, “The key measurement lies in performance comparative to the market. If, over time, you make more than the averages when the market is up and lose less when it is down, you have nothing to worry about long-term.” Really? If there were a dogma on Wall Street, this would be it. Put another way, “In the long run, markets always go up.”

We think it would be prudent to qualify the statement. For starters, we would ask, “Which market?” If you consider the Japanese Nikkei, it has been going down for 18 years. The country has not been in a depression, yet the nation’s stock market has continued to deflate. Adjusted for inflation, gold is about half its 1980 peak. Then there is the Saudi Arabian stock market, which peaked in March of 2006 at around 20,000 and was trading near 10,000 in May of this year when crude had more than doubled to $140/bbl. That does not appear to make much sense, but there it is. A lot goes into making a market and they do not necessarily eventually make higher highs.

The financial seas are churning… and paradigms are shifting along with them. At the very least, the social, political and economic outlook for the next three to five years has been materially altered by the global deleveraging process, which is unwinding the largest credit bubble in the history of the world. As liquidity dries up, we are finding out who has been swimming naked. Bear Stearns was among the first to be exposed, and makes a most suitable example for the metaphor, as the company was embarrassingly bare when it came to liquid assets.

The Coming Age of Austerity

Instead, we believe the market is headed for a period of austerity brought on by new regulatory requirements for increased transparency, accountability and frugality. We are entering a period of reduced expectations both economically and socially. Regulation will operate like a 55 mph speed limit on the economic highway, crimping profits in favor of a more stable economy. As a consumer society, we are not going to be immune from the Great Deleveraging, which is why Treasury Secretary Paulson is planning to allocate some of the Wall Street bailout money directly to Main Street.

As home prices fail to recover, a vast number of middle of the road retailers will go bankrupt, creating a more polarized consumer society than today, with Wal-Mart on one end of the barbell and Tiffany’s on the other. Municipalities will get leaner and public services we once took for granted will be more costly and less frequent or disappear altogether. Postage stamps, refuse collection fees, sales taxes and property taxes will become prohibitively expensive for some citizens. Renting will be preferable to property ownership in many municipalities, further depressing property values.

As the country turns inward to heal its wounds, an isolationist perspective will become dominant, reducing budgets for foreign aid and the military. A populist ethos will dominate the political scene, but credit will be hard to come by. Saving will become “cool,’ cash will be King and equities will be first disparaged and then shunned, as a sustained period of apathy overtakes Wall Street. Established social institutions, from private colleges to philanthropic foundations, will be challenged to survive and many will go extinct as funding dries up.

Unemployed brokers and bankers will enter law school in droves to partake in the Great Litigation process that devolves from the credit debacle, as company after company is held accountable for fraud, misrepresentation and fiduciary malfeasance. Standard & Poors will eventually be discredited and go bankrupt, taking McGraw Hill down with it, and the S&P 500 will be renamed to represent a new Standard for Wall Street. A new era of fixed-income investing will replace hedge-fund driven speculation. Funds will be rated on safety before historical gains are considered, as return of capital trumps return on capital.

And were we to speculate further on social changes, we see some interesting possibilities. For example…

Grass Roots Society

With growing stresses on entitlement programs, dispersed families may reaggregate, as children live with parents longer and grandparents are welcomed back into households as valued contributors to the familial security net. A new appreciation for more cost-effective, wellness and prevention-oriented natural medicine may become necessary to stem the rise of healthcare costs in an aging society.

Micro businesses may flourish as entrepreneurship is focused on local opportunities. Neighbors might know each other again, as a more grassroots economy reestablishes itself. Waste and conspicuous consumption may be less tolerable. Bicycles and scooters could replace cars in many cities, as speed limits are lowered to accommodate a more vulnerable and slower pace of life. Community gardens and farmer’s markets may become social hubs. We might see a greater sharing of local and personal resources rather than an emphasis on individual ownership, which would mirror the socialized institutional investments made by the government in various industries.

As our military is downsized and refocuses away from foreign interventions, soldiers might be deployed in dangerous neighborhoods to protect the citizenry and discourage organized street crime as neighborhoods rebuild. Meanwhile, drug dealing and prostitution might be decriminalized and licensed because the states simply cannot afford to prosecute and house so many criminals.

In Yield We Trust

On the investment horizon we imagine that global growth will resume at some point, but the epicenter will be located in nations other than our own. Fortunately, a 4G worldwide communication network will facilitate asset allocation to any market by any individual with an iPhone or a laptop anywhere on the planet 24/7. CDs denominated in foreign currencies will be commonplace, so individuals will be able to find safety and yield quite easily.

Governments and funds will compete globally on yield, generating massive capital flows from three billion small investors. Fees and commissions on most financial transactions will be nominal or waived entirely to facilitate the flow in a highly competitive environment where deposits and cash assets are highly prized.

For now, we have a rally in the market, as it bounces off the October lows. We once again recommend selling low-yield or non-yield stocks into the strength. We don’t know how long it will last or how far it will run, but we don’t think the bear market is over. Our forecast is for U.S. equity prices to be 40-50% lower in 12 months.

Weekly Publication by The Spear Report www.spearreport.com

Steep switchbacks are an increasingly common occurrence on our trails.

Dictated by the steep terrain they’re built on, switchbacks often seem pretty intimidating obstacles, with narrow exits and precipitous drops on one side. Although it’s not usually too difficult to negotiate them slowly, carrying speed and staying in balance is often a real challenge. A lack of rider confidence is often the biggest mistake. So, these five steps will show you a few simple tips to use next time you’re tackling one head-on.

THE APPROACH

This is the part you really want to get right. Keep your head up and have a look at the trail ahead. In our sequence, you can see the right hand turn looks quite far away. But by spotting it from a few metres back, you should be able to get yourself over to the outside of the trail, ready for the corner. This is the opposite side to what you might think! Most of your braking should be done now.

GETTING HIGH

Now that you are on the outside, you can start your switchback. To get up the bank easily, think of it as an off camber section. It’s always easier to go up rather than along an off-camber, and by starting on the outside of the trail, you’re in the perfect place to look left and head straight up. If the bank is steep, drop your outside (downhill) foot to get more pressure on the edge of the lyres.

LEAD FROM THE FRONT

Your front wheel will lead the way. A great tip at this point is to allow your front wheel to go higher or wider than the back. On steep switchbacks, your back wheel may not even leave the main line, but as long as the front is wide you’ll be able to get around even the tightest of bends. Speed can also dictate this part. If you’re coming in really slow, there won’t be enough speed to get your whole bike onto the high line. So just let the front go for it and relax.

GETTING GRIPPY

Once your front wheel is sufficiently wide, look down into the corner, let go of the brakes and start transferring your weight on to the other leg. In this case, the weight goes from the right leg to the left. As the bike starts to accelerate off the bank, put more weight onto your outside pedal (don’t brake!) to keep the grip coming. You’ll probably find that the steeper and tighter the corner is, the further down your outside foot is.

LOOK TO THE FINISH

With the boost in speed you’ll have, keep looking to the exit. The exit is the point where things often go wrong. Don’t worry about the drop off the edge of the trail. Instead, focus your attention on where you want to end up. Just by looking where you want to go, and not over the edge, you’ll probably find that your confidence to stay off the brakes and keep all that speed you just made wi1l grow.

TOP TIP

Practice steep switchbacks with firmer suspension up front to build your confidence.

A bicycle is a human-powered that consists of two wheels and is driven by the pedals attached to its frame. A mountain bike (also known as MTB) is a bicycle designed and created for off-road terrains and other uneven trails. Armed with the proper mountain bike helmet, these bikes were built to withstand the unpredictable structure and layout of nature. There are also different types of mountain bikes that perform best under various riding paths. With the right mountain bike clothing and the right bike, the riding experience is sure to be a good one. Here are some of the types of mountain bikes:

Cross country – This is probably the most famous and widely-used mountain bike there is. They were produced for all types of terrain. This is made possible by a full range of mtb gears and the fact that it’s the lightest bike available.

Downhill – These bikes are created with huge drops and hits on a downhill slope. They offer a full suspension but a limited number of gears. They perform best going down and are not the best choice for uphill slopes for any length of time. This type of bike is the heaviest bike available but is durable and sturdy nonetheless. This type of bike is also the most expensive amongst all.

Free-ride – This bike is a combination of the two bikes mentioned above. It has the advantages of a cross-country bike but has a somewhat sturdier and heavier frame. It has a full suspension and full mountain bike gears as well.

Dirt-jumping – This bike is exactly what its name says. These bikes are designed exclusively for jumps. They only have a number of gears but have front suspensions that help with the jumps. Because of this, these bikes will not do well with any other mountain biking styles.

Trial – These bikes are a revision of the cross country mountain bike but have softer suspensions for more difficult obstacles. Because of the suspension feature, pedaling requires a little more effort.

When it comes to car insurance, there are so many different insurances, it is sometimes a little overwhelming. Each company claims to offer the lowest premiums and excellent customer service, but in fact that really works? If you want to search on Google, press “auto insurance”, you would find several insurance companies. You’ll notice some of the names, and others you have never heard in your life. Where do you find the best, focusing on motor insurance? This article was designed to give you some perspective on some of the most reliable companies, insurance companies offer a great deal.
Allstate:
If a driver has a clean record for a while, this is a good choice. Allstate is certainly not for the newer drivers, but also for the established value. The difference between Allstate and Geico say, is that your credit score in the big test. Allstate offers great offers, discounts, especially if you insure multiple lines with them. As already mentioned, if you have a good reputation in your journey and record your crdit, Allstate is certainly a great option to choose.
Nationwide:
This is an insurance company, bicycles, the various types of insurance. It was a long time and knows how to take care of its customers. They offer a variety of auto insurance discounts. If you visit their site, you’ll see a very bright, clean layout that answers many car owners’ needs. Another nice feature of this company is that they are forgiven. You have an accident forgiveness program, which is really unique to their company. They are also understanding for teenage drivers. If you can not as Nationwide, are invited to submit a bid.
Geico:
It is a safe bet to say that everyone has something of the insurer Geico. It is hard not to miss their humorous advertising on television, radio and the Internet. They are virtually everywhere! This is because Geico is a healthy company. Not only has it for a cheap price, they have an excellent customer service. Personally, I have my two vehicles insured Geico and have never been a problem. I decided to enter the Geico after the conversation with a few people. At that time I had Progressive (an insurer strong that I do not recommend). They informed me I was too much to pay for my car insurance, so I have a quote from Geico. And just like the commercial said, I save 102.00 U.S. dollars per month on car insurance. Talking about a big difference!
It is important to provide the best insurance that best suits your specific needs. The insurance company you’re recording, will vary according to your specific, such as a new driver, several cars, driving record, credit history and much more. Remember, it’s important to shop around for car insurance. It costs nothing for a price quote and most citations are active for at least 15 days after purchase. In these times, but a necessity.

Long ago, small shops littered the retailing landscape. Products were designed, created, and sold by independent business owners to buyers within the surrounding community. Times have changed. The retail world has adopted a new dynamic that threatens the long-term viability of smaller businesses. Mass-market chain stores have penetrated cities throughout the nation, offering massive inventories and lower prices. For independent retailers, this intrusion represents more than mere competition; it embodies a risk to their survival.
Below, I’ll provide you with a strategic framework for competing against the chain retailers. You’ll discover 4 keys for not only rising to their challenge, but outmaneuvering them on the path toward building stronger customer loyalty and increased sales.
#1 – The Power Of Superior Service
Even though the big box stores can offer a larger inventory within any product sector, they’re unable to provide a high level of service. The breadth of their product selection precludes educating their staff about any particular item. What’s more, their pricing strategy prevents them from offering ancillary services or help. By contrast, smaller merchants can provide a much higher level of customer service. That might include offering useful advice about a new bicycle, disposal of an old refrigerator when buying a replacement, or well-trained employees who can be simultaneously engaging and helpful.
#2 – Keeping A Lean Inventory
The days of stocking extra merchandise in an area that receives no customer traffic are over. Because retailing competition has escalated in every sector, conserving your operational cash flow has become critical. Each dollar invested in products that receives zero exposure to the buying public is a dollar that cannot be spent on marketing, promotion, and new opportunities.
To compete with the megastores, you must keep your product inventories lean. That means moving your stock from your storeroom onto the floor where your customers can see it. It can also mean that you decline late shipments from your vendor or send back extra product that was shipped to you in error.
#3 – Managing Staffing Needs
It’s expensive to support unnecessary staff hours. Paying for a greater number of employees than your customer traffic can justify represents a useless drain on your cash flow. You’ll need to study your floor traffic patterns to identify your staffing needs throughout the day.
Also, keep in mind that a lot of families have dual-income households; both adults may be working during the day. That means they won’t have the opportunity to visit your store until the evening or during the weekend. If that’s the case, consider opening and closing your doors later. That will help you maximize your employees’ time, lower your staffing costs, and increase your availability to your customers.
#4 – Building Your Network
If a large discounter moves into your community, organize a joint promotional effort with other local merchants. By forming a network of cooperating businesses, you can leverage each other’s customer bases. For example, if you operate a hardware store, you can offer a 10% discount to customers who show you a recent receipt from the local home gardening shop. Each independent retailer in the network would cooperate with each other, referring customers to each other’s shops.
Leveling The Field
Mass-market merchants represent a very real threat to the long-term survival of small retail shops. But, it’s important to realize that you can compete against them. The big box stores are incapable of matching the level of service that you can provide. Plus, by closely watching your inventory and staffing needs, you can conserve your operational cash flow. Finally, a cooperative network of local merchants, each providing a high level of service and product quality, can help stem the tide of a megastore takeover. Competing against the giant chain stores is well within your control.

Though there are many sports equipment that help you get in shape, bikes are one of the best fitness equipment. They are a great way to tone your body. And above all, cycling is also great fun. Just to take a ride on the bicycle leaving behind all the worries of the day can be a thoroughly relaxing experience. If you have not experienced this, then it’s high time you bought a mountain bike. When it comes to outdoor sports equipment, ODIN mountain bikes are one of the best. BIGshop.com.au offers high quality ODIN mountain bikes with such top-notch features at incredible prices that you’ll not find the need to look elsewhere. Be it free ride biking or street riding, these outdoor sports equipment are just perfect. Take for instance, the Mountain Bike Bicycle ODIN STORM Dual Suspension with 21 Shimano speed gears and convenient grip shift. Not only does this ODIN STORM Mountain Bike look extremely stylish with a matt black finish, but it also provides great comfort and control even on the toughest roads with features, such as alloy dual shock system and disk brakes with strong steel components. Apart from the ODIN STORM Mountain Bike, you’ll find other SPD mountain bikes from ODIN, such as the Mountain Bike Bicycle ODIN EXOLUTION and the Mountain Bike Bicycle ODIN EXCEED. Both these sports equipment come with an alloy shock system, disk brakes with alloy components, as well as alloy wheels and hubs with advanced spoke pattern. Another superb bicycle that you would not want to miss is the Road Bike Bicycle ODIN DIABLO. This bike too is made of extremely durable Shimano parts, including brakes and gears. It can last a lifetime, thanks to its sturdy yet light-weight alloy frame. To top it all is the metallic blue and black finish that makes it worth every penny. To get the best of style, comfort and durability at a competitive price tag, visit BIGshop.com.au.

Number One: Collect ChangeIt may seem silly but don’t discount the value of loose change. Those coins located all over your home really do add up. The nice thing about this way to make some extra money is it is very simple; it just requires some searching and collecting. Check everywhere, the floor, your car, the couch, under the cat, everyplace you can thing of. You can roll the coins and take them to a bank or if you don’t have the time, take the coins to a local supermarket’s coin star machine and for a small fee, have the coins sorted for you. Number Two: RecycleHere is another classic idea that really helps during tight economic times. Recycling is a simple and easy way to bring in an extra few bucks during the month. This is especially true if you live in a state that charges a recycling tax on recyclable materials. Not just paper, cans, or bottles, but also scrap metal. You may have an old bicycle or camper that you don’t use anymore. This can be sold to some recycler centers for its scrap metal value. Depending on the weight and going price of the metal, it could be worth a few hundred dollar or more. Number Three: EbayWhile Ebay has some limitations, it is still a good way to sell off junk you no longer want or need. Look around, do you really need 3 blenders? That old suit you never wear? Sell it on Ebay to a large international audience. You can be clear on your terms and shipping costs associated with what you are selling should it should be a breeze. If you need help, there are countless self help books online, at the store, and at your local library (you don’t have to buy one, use the library and save some money). Number Four: CraigslistIf you are one of those people who no longer like Ebay or you just don’t have any money to spare, use Craigslist instead. Craigslist is not an auction site like Ebay, but is more like an online classified (the kind in the paper but larger and online). Criagslist is usually limited to a local audience so be careful where you post your listing at. It also has less features then Ebay so be clear as to what you are saying, the price, and any terms. It is a great way to get rid of junk around the house for no cost at all. Don’t be afraid to post both on Ebay and Craigslist! It is good to cover all bases in such tight economic times.Number Five: Freelance Work OnlineThis is becoming a very popular way to make extra cash. The cost is zero and you never have to leave your home. Freelancing online means you find different tasks online that you are paid for. A nice thing about these freelance sites is they usually do not require any tax information so your privacy is protected. One good freelance program is Amazon Mechanical Turk, where companies post tasks that machines cannot easily do, but that are relatively simple for humans. You choose an assignment, and, on completion, are credited with payment to your Amazon account. You can use this money on Amazon or they can pay after you earned over a set amount. Another nice freelance program allows you to get paid for Market Research. Even in the poor economy, marketing is still a large business and marketers need demographic and other information to market products successfully. These research programs are like focus groups that you may have seen at the mall or at a hotel but instead they are done at home. Most of the research tasks take less then an hour with a very nice payout. If you are the creative type, Online Book Writing may be your cup of tea. Many online publishers allow you to self publish, meaning you don’t pay any fees upfront and set the price for your books or other publications. If you can sit down and write a single page a day, you could public a few books a year. That is extra money in your pocket with a very small effort. Number Six: Rent Out a RoomOne of the biggest expenses in anyone’s budget is the cost of a home or apartment. Cut the cost out by renting out an extra room. Make sure you draw up a lease agreement and set rules down in stone. Don’t rush into accepting the first person who wants to move in either. Screen applications carefully. This will prevent any nastiness in the future while you collect upwards of one third the cost of your living expenses!Number Seven: Seek Help and Cut CostsUnlike the only six, this one targets expenses and not income. However like the other six, this money making tip can put real cash back into your pocket. Do not be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Many food banks will give you food if you request. Even basic things like bread and pasta can save you money. Grocery stores will usually have discount of fee food at the end of the day or late at night. It sounds silly but use coupons and pay attention to sales! Most people who use coupons and by productions only on sale can save upwards of sixty percent off their food bill. This can equate to thousands of dollars of savings over the year!You can take it one step further and grow food. Food gardens were very popular during the great depression and they are becoming popular again. Fifty dollars in seeds and plant care can equal hundreds of dollars worth of fresh, tasty produce. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty and grow some crops.

Addressing the cleaning of your bike may seem too rudimentary even for a beginner. We would agree, except that recently we watched in horror as a buddy took a high-pressure washer to his $7000 dual-suspension trailbike. Friends just don’t let friends take a pressure washer to their bike. Here is how you should do it.

Stuff you will need1. a bucket2. soap of your choice (we use CT10)3. a brush4. a sponge5. a few towels6. a hose attached to a water supply

1. Soften it up: Put your bike in a stand or lean it against a wall.Take the hose and just let the water fall over the frame tubes, wheels, saddle and bar. Notice we don ‘t use a spray nozzle.Blasting your bike’s suspension pivots or your wheels’ hubs can push dirt into the bearing area or force grease out. Neither is good for the long-term welfare of your bike.

2. Warm bath: Dip your sponge in the bucket tilled with warm water and your detergent of choice. Attack you r bike with the sponge. Don’t worry about the wheels yet.

3. Another option: Muc-Off, is a cleanser formulated for cleaning bikes. After hosing off the bike, you spray on Muc-Off, let it sit a few minutes, loosen the big grime with asponge and then hose it off. By the way, there are hundreds of soaps and cleaning formulas (like Muc-off) available to cyclists.There is nothing wrong with using them, but we’ve gotten along just fine using dish washing soap. Hose down the bike until the dirt is rinsed. Note again, we don’t blast the water in a stream.

4. The gross stuff: Dip your brush in the so apy water and rub down the drivetrain. If you lubed your chain properly it should only take one pass. If you glopped on the lube and didn’t remove the excess, you may have to attack small sections at a time to get the grime off.

5. Clean Gears: Spin the drivetrain while running the hose over it.

6. Water wheels : we saved the wheels for last because the drivetrain cleaning isliable to get the rear wheel dirty. Same drill as the frame. Get the wheels wet, rubthem down with a soapy sponge (you can take the brush to the brake calipers) and hose everything off.

7. Towel it off: Use your towels to dry the bike. There are a number of bike waxes and polishes. We have not found that they make a big difference, but hey, its your baby. If you want to pamper it, go for it.

8. Dry links: Pay attention to drying your chain. Once dry, apply lube of your choice and wipe off excess.

9. Look and learn: Use your cleaning time to inspect your frame, suspension components and wheels for damage or signs of trouble. You can find a stress fracture whilst washing your bike or landing off a six foot jump. Which sounds better to you?

Life can be pretty surreal at times. And travel is no exception to the rule. We seem to have some of our strangest experiences when we are on the road. Some of them are completely out of our control and we just have to hang on and enjoy the ride. While others have been completely our own doing. A momentary lapse of reason if you will.  Either way, they make for some fun stories around the campfire. Here are a few of ours in no particular order.

Camped in a zoo in Sudan-We arrived in Dongola, Sudan after 6 days of cycling in the desert.  We hadn’t showered and we were covered in dirt and sweat.  We weren’t treated to luxury though, we had set up camp in an old abandoned zoo.  Apparently a turtle still roamed the grounds but we never saw it. The zoo had high steel walls and nobody was allowed in.  It was pretty strange, because we were fenced in while the town looked at us from outside. We were monkeys in a cage?  This may sound a little odd already, but it didn’t become really strange until we all started bathing in our red supply boxes.  They were carried on our supply trucks and held all of our gear. someone found a hose, so we all filled up our little 100 litre boxes and took a bath.  Weird.

Showered in a Brothel in Ethiopia- Yet another African experience.  We had been cycling once again for days on end through sand.  Once we crossed the Ethiopian border, we camped in a patch of grass which we shared with cows and donkeys.  We had to keep an eye out for cow patties and at one point I saw a cow drinking out of the bottom of one of our trucks.  Our trucks carried our water through the desert in a big bladder underneath. They kept us alive through the unforgiving desert and here was a cow slurping from the bladder like it was sucking on its mums teet. This may sound like a strange experience, but it didn’t get weird until we all lined up to have a shower at the brothel next door.  We raved about how amazing it was, your standards lower a lot when you are in the desert. The stalls were tin shacks with cement floors and cold water, but the pressure was good and we loved every minute of it. And we even sat down for a beer in the bar afterward as the “ladies and gentlemen” watched on.

Camp Site in Namibia-We approached a camp site in Namibia that completely freaked me out. I was riding alone and in the distance I saw a scary looking guy standing at the side of the road.  He never moved. As I road closer, I was beginning to wonder if I should turn back. But I was on the right route, I followed the flags, it had to be O.K.  Then I realized that it was a statue.  I was relieved, but then again, why is a statue standing alone in the Middle of the Kalahari desert?  I hope I didn’t make a wrong turn?  I kept riding down the long abandoned path and more of these creepy sculptures kept popping up.  They were set up in various strange scenes. Sitting on motorcycles, working at a wagon and perched on go carts and bicycles. They had these heads that looked like pumpkins and every horror movie from my childhood flashed through my brain. I eventually made it to camp thank God.  I was happy I was with a crowd, I wouldn’t have been able to sleep at night if it was only Dave and I.

Shared a bus with a load of Lobsters -  This one was pretty surreal.  We got on a bus downtown Hanoi en route to Vientiane Laos.  It ended up being a 24 hour journey. There were a handful of us waiting for the bus and we assumed that we would be picking people up at different stops along the way.  Well, we stopped alright, but instead of people, we picked up flour, rice, electronics; you name it, we got it.  We actually started to wonder if we were on a bus that was smuggling stuff across the border.  Oh yeah, I said Lobster didn’t I?  Dozens of lobsters wrapped in pretty packaging  that started to” turn” in the heat as time went on.  It was getting pretty ripe in there by the end and we couldn’t understand why they weren’t packed in ice. Were the lobster carrying something??? We’ll never know.

Shopping in Hoi An-It doesn’t sound very strange, but in Vietnam, Hoi An is famous for its designer suits and cocktail dresses tailor made for a steal. Well, we were backpackers and our jobs at home never call for suits and formal attire.  We told everyone that we were never going to buy clothes in Hoi An. We just wanted to see the town and the sights around it.  However, when we were approached on the street we thought we would be nice and humor the sweet lady and go to her shop. We ended up spending $250 on suits, dresses,  silk shirts, pants and skirts we bought it all.  We stressed about our purchases that night and reprimanded ourselves thoroughly. When we went back the next day to pick up all of our clothes, we loved them so much, we bought more!!  That night again, we kicked ourselves again and again.  What were we thinking? We ended up sending a giant box home to Canada and spending over $300. That cut into our travel budget quite a bit. When we were staying at inns for $4 a night and eating meals for a couple of bucks.  Well, that’s a lot of days on the road that we just spent on clothes.  What is strange about this you ask? Well we would love to know where our brains went while we were in Hoi An. (Travel tip-if you get clothes made in Hoi An, be sure to make them double stitch the threading.  It lasts better.)

Being Stoned all the way Through Ethiopia-No it is not what you think….In Ethiopia the children have an odd pass time of throwing rocks at cyclists.  They get a kick out of using us as target practice.  We spent 23 days in Ethiopia, and each day we could count on getting a rock whipped at our heads or sticks stuck in our spokes.  It was nuts! Most kids carried these big staffs to herd their cattle and as we rode by, they tried to stick them in our tires to take us out.  You may think that it was because they wanted us to stop and talk. But no, even when we stopped and shared a nice little conversation, they would hurl rocks at us as we left.  It was infuriating.  They had great aim and they could run fast.  I would try to get off my bike and run after them when I was hit by a particularly painful shot, but they were long gone. They didn’t do this in Sudan, or Malawi, or Tanzania, or Namibia….so why in Ethiopia.  I also have no idea who taught them this, but as we cycled from the Sudanese Border in the north all the way through Ethiopia in the south, everyone yelled You, You, You at us. It is weird.  Not a hello or even a wave,  “you, you, you” oh and “give me my money.”  I was luckier than most, I had Dave with me to keep me safe and I didn’t get it near as bad as other riders.  Plus, we rode fast.  We were through early in the day, and it wasn’t so bad yet.  As the day went on however, people got hit worse. They knew people were coming and they were ready for them.  Here is a list of what happened to other riders in Ethiopia.  While cycling by, a woman was peed on, a man had cow dung thrown at him, another woman ran into a child and the town mobbed her demanding money and would not let her leave. The child was OK by the way, and after settling on a payment, she was allowed to go.  Many including myself were whipped with a bullwhip, and yet another woman was assaulted, but a bunch of villagers came to her rescue. Thank God. Most people are good in this world, it is just an few that make everyone else look bad. Unfortunately, Ethiopia is a very populous country and as we were cycling we passed thousands and thousands of people.  So the hundreds and hundreds that got us, made it seem like everyone was out to take us down.

Going to Bokor Hill- A popular tourist destination in Cambodia, we thought it would be a good place to visit.  We hired a truck to take us up the mountain.  He asked us if we wanted to pay a couple of bucks more and he would take us on a hike to the waterfall. Sure, OK we said.  We hiked a path and then came out to a bunch of rocks.  It was dry season, and there wasn’t any water. No biggie off we went to the casino.  Another creepy place that is said to be haunted.  I don’t know what it is like today, but back then we just walked through dark hallways and looked at the abandoned hall.  It was a little unsettling. But the view was beautiful. I think they are turning it into a big resort now, I am glad I saw it when it was all run down and abandoned makes for a better story.  Oh wait, that’s not the strange part yet.  Our truck broke down at the top of the mountain, so we all had to pile into the back and coast our way down.  I remember the guys checking the engine scratching their heads and wondering what to do.  We decided that we would have to walk, but a while later, they came up behind us and we had no choice but to hop on. It was night time in the Cambodian Jungle, plunging down a mountain in the box of a coasting truck seemed like a safer option.

Bed Bugs in Malaysia, I have already talked about when we were eaten by bed bugs in Chang Mai, Thailand in a previous post, but there was something very surreal about this bed bug experience in Malaysia.  We were in Penang in a highly recommended guest house which will remain nameless. I was walking back to my room after a morning shower and I saw Jimmy the owner, squishing these creepy creatures leaving bloody smears all over the floor.  He had a big piece of wood and was swatting at them in the room next to ours. All the while, he had a big smile on his face and kept reassuring us that we didn’t have any in our room. I was so grossed out by the blood all over the floor and wall, that we had to get out of there.

Getting taken to the cleaners in Mexico-We had just spent a week diving in Cozumel and were about to embark on our Central American Adventure. On the ferry from Cozumel to Playa Del Carmen, we were approached by a time share seller.  We know all about time shares and weren’t interested.  But they offered us $100 US Cash each to come and take a look.  We said, wow, we can go see it and make sure to say NO, collect our $200 and be on our way.  Well we got their and the pressure was high.  They kept throwing everything our way and we kept saying no. The price kept going down and down and then they finally said that they would give it to us for $1000 and upgrade us to the level where we can get African safaris and luxury tours for cheap cheap cheap.  We gave in and bought.  Right after I freaked out and wanted my money back to no avail.  We did get our $200 though and they agreed to put us up in their luxury resort for a week in Playa Del Carmen. It was beautiful and we were pampered staying in this incredible hotel.  We had just come from an all inclusive dive resort  and this one made that one look like a Days Inn. So we figured it all evened out in the end.  $800 bucks for a week at a luxury resort. Why is this surreal, we were supposed to be back packing in Mexico and should have been roughing it in Tulum by now. Instead we had white robes and slippers and were sitting by the pool bar. We cut almost a month of travel off of our trip because of that resort, but we still talk about how nice it was and to this day, we still get emails from that vacation club offering us great discounts.  They do have great discounts admittedly, maybe one day we will take them up on it